Oh No...!

Tragedy has struck Monkeyville.

Laptop Jack has fallen gravely ill. Laptop Jack is my laptop, who I love more than a person should love a lump of wires, plastic, and metal. Laptop Jack is very special, he's an artist edition HP, massive hard drive, lots of RAM... a writer/monkey maker's dream come true.

I've had him since October 2008, when I had him overnighted from NewEgg so that I could get him before I quit my last job to start my new one. He arrived just in time, and ever since, I've been practically attached to Laptop Jack by the fingers. I have a computer at work (sort of, I share) and it can't hold a candle to Laptop Jack.

Yeah, I'm a wee little bit attached to my laptop. I can't help it, it's awesome! However, for the first time since I got him, Laptop Jack started having problems. It started last Friday night. iTunes seemed to have gone all wonky. The song I was listening to got stuck on one note, then I couldn't move the cursor at all. Oh no! I restarted, and he'd do okay for a while, then the problem would happen again. Not Good!!!

The following Saturday morning, Laptop Jack showed me the Blue Screen of Death. He still wasn't completely dead though. A call to the warranty company (thank God I bought that!) and he had a scheduled appointment with the computer doctor. Then, he turned on, worked long enough for me to copy most things from the hard drive, then showed me the blue screen of death once more, and now won't turn on at all.

The computer doctor looked at him yesterday, and the diagnosis wasn't good. It wasn't just the memory like they thought. No, it's the motherboard is fried. The part is on order, and once he gets a new one he should be better, but until then... I'm relying on Laptop Toeshi, who is a good little workhorse of a laptop, but he's not the Laptop Jack.

There isn't a laptop out there that can compare to Laptop Jack, because for $650, I got a computer that had literally everything. Laptop Jack was made for lots of difficult multitasking, where Laptop Toeshi is not. Also, as stupid as it sounds, it's easier to be creative on a computer that looks creative. Laptop Toeshi looks like every other laptop out there, and just isn't Laptop Jack. Like I said before, I'm way too attached to that laptop, and having the things that were on there on the flash drive doesn't make me feel any better, because those things belong on Laptop Jack... not on google docs or a flash drive. Laptop Jack is where I store my soul!

I wrote three novels and started a fourth on him, started Monkeyville with him, and he was my computer (and constant companion) when I wasn't able to do anything because I was still recovering from almost dying from chemical exposure*. Laptop Jack working was, until Laptop Toeshi got here, the means of communication with the Ninja Flock as well.

Slowly, Pirates (the sworn enemies of Ninjas) are trying to block us Ninjas from communicating. First, Ninja Muse's computer was hurt in an power surge, then Imaginary Ninja's computer Lenore started to act funny and is now spending time in the Gateway Hospital for Sick Computers, then Laptop Jack falls grievously ill. At first that was okay, because there's always Mini Mac to fall back on, but within two days of Laptop Jack falling grievously ill, Mini Mac lost his identity and now won't turn on! He's showing the Flashing File Folder of Death... which is fixable if someone could remember how or find the manual. Mini Mac is elderly though, so this is not entirely unexpected.

Not a single computer was harmed by a virus, so it's not file sharing within the Ninja Flock that's the problem (especially since no one has shared anything with Mini Mac), it's Pirates. Pirates are trying to prevent the Ninjas from communicating. They are getting nervous because recently two more Ninjas have been added to the flock-- Quizzical Ninja and Shiny Ninja. The Pirates must have gotten nervous and are now resorting to desperate measures. You won't keep the Ninjas down Pirates! The flock is strong, and Warm and Fuzzy Ninja Land will prevail over Cold and Pointy Pirate Land!**

Okay, this is rather hard to explain to people who don't know me well. I have a group of friends that I adore, and each one has a Ninja name. Why? Um... because it's cool? I don't know. I can't remember how it started, but it stuck. Each one of my closest friends (mostly) get a Ninja name, and that's what we go by when we talk online. Imaginary Ninja is a Real Person (her blog is here!) as are the rest of the Ninjas. Though it does make people look at me funny when I say "oh! Ninja Muse said..." in regular life.

The world is just chocked full of Pirates. Who are Pirates? Pirates are anyone who is mean, has a case of schadenfreude, or is an abstract concept that Ninjas are against. Ninjas stand for good, for Warm and Fuzzy, and for creativity and knowledge. Anyone against those things (you'd be surprised how many people there are), is a Pirate, any idea that is not consistent with the Ninja Philosophy is a Pirate. Racism is Pirate. Computers dying can only be caused by Pirates. The list goes on. Anything that isn't quite Ninja, but isn't bad enough to be Pirate, ends up in the Pinja category. Someone who takes care of sick animals, but is horrible to people would be a Pinja.

Should I point out that the whole Ninja thing started when I was taking heavy doses of medications to try to recover from the chemical exposure?

Either way, functioning computers for all Ninjas is Very Important to Ninja Time (9pm, EST every night). Without Ninja Time, Ninjas go into withdrawal. This is the real reason that Laptop Toeshi has joined the family. Ninjas need Ninja Time so they don't get overwhelmed by the sheer amount of Pirates and Piracy in the world. Laptop Jack being ill is definitely work of Pirates. However, the true Ninja Computer that Laptop Jack is, he allowed me to get almost everything off of him before succumbing to the Pirate's damage to his insides. He's a valiant computer, and once he's back up and running, everything will be much happier here in Ninja Land.

Until then though, I can't do Sock Monkey Monday. I have all of the photos for it, but I can't post them, because all of the information for them was on Laptop Jack, as was the camera software. I had an 8GB memory stick-- over 6 when to music, the rest went to novels, and a couple other things. I don't think Toeshi could handle the extreme amount of multitasking that it would require to do all of the work for Sock Monkey Mondays either. The good news? A squeaky new motherboard is on it's way for Laptop Jack, and he should be feeling better by the end of next week.

Hopefully, there will be no more Pirate attacks on computers.



*That is a Very Long Story. However, it has a happy ending, because I'm still alive (that was iffy for a while) and I now have Monkeyville.

** I can't for the life of me remember what this was going to say. Probably that cows come in herds, lions in prides, crows in a murder, but Ninjas come in flocks. Ninja Muse says so!